The beginning of this month was such a challenge in the parenting department. With the 4th of July holiday, the long weekend and trip to Oregon for our anniversary, I was completely thrown off from routine and so were the kids. Most of the challenging behavior came from Miss Older Sister, who was acting more like a baby than Miss Little Sister, who’s being a complete gem in comparison.

It’s so frustrating. I feel like I’m totally hosing over her childhood and she’s going to need years of therapy. It’s not that bad, but it sure feels like it when she’s crying and yelling about how she can’t get her jammies out of the drawer. I have to remind myself that this is a phase and we need to deal with it wisely.

Thankfully my husband is usually pretty calm, it keeps me (more) even-keeled. I was thinking about last summer, when I felt pressured to get Caley potty-trained before Amelia was born, it just felt like this insurmountable task. I had visions of her going off to college in a pull-up because she just couldn’t get the concept of using the potty. But then, a few months later, something clicked and she hasn’t really looked back. She’s trained. Now we’re in the process of training her in obedience and I feel so lost sometimes. I don’t remember being difficult for my parents! But I bet Mom and Dad can attest to some challenging behavior with me, hopefully I’m not that self-deluded.

It’s actually good, I think, to see this behavior from Caley, because it reminds me that we are NOT in control, GOD is. If she were perfect, it would be easier to be prideful in that, that she has good behavior because we are good parents and we do everything right. And honestly, since the beginning of this month, she’s been pretty good, I don’t mean to make my daughter out to be a little terror.

Through this most recent bout of behavior, God has taught me to just chill out and not react to her as much. He’s taught me rely on Him more and be honest to Him when she’s being difficult. This time around my parenting pride “branch” is getting pruned big time. Thankfully the branch that’s growing in it’s place is one of prayer and patience. And I’m sure in another few months this (or another) branch of pride will grow again, and again Jesus will prune it back. And again, and again. When will I learn? Oh yeah, never, because I’ll always be a sinner. But thankfully Jesus is patient, He will keep teaching me until He returns. Thank you Jesus.

Titus 2:3-5 (ESV)
“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

I barely feel qualified to speak as a mother, let alone a good mother. There are so many great, amazing mothers at Mars Hill. In the time that I’ve had two children, a mere 3 years, God has shown me graciously and painfully how much I need Him in order to be a good mom, (or even a mediocre mom, that just shows how sinful I am!). It has caused me to reflect on my relationship with my parents, my life, my sins, everything I do. That’s called sanctification. I will fail, but Jesus won’t. Jesus will be there to catch my kids when I fail and drop them.

Having Amelia last August has caused me to deal with a lot in my life. I have gone through many emotions (some as a result of postpartum hormones!), fear and anxiety (I’m not doing this right, what if I get pregnant again so soon), and joy (like when the kids play together well). Ultimately Jesus has given me peace. Things will happen in God’s good timing. The baby will sleep through the night. The big sister will get potty-trained. We will have another child in His timing. Maybe His timing isn’t right now, maybe never, maybe tomorrow.

It’s Mother’s Day this Sunday, and God is using this day to sanctify me. It was hard on my first Mother’s Day to not feel like someone owed me something. Caley (my oldest) was all of 4 months and I felt like since I was now a mother that I should get a cake, balloons and a parade, totally overlooking the fact that GOD made me a mother and I should be spending this day thanking HIM for that. Our culture has such a tendency to focus on mothers, or fathers, or [insert holiday here]. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t thank our mother/father or honor them and the hard job they may have. But these days really belong to God. I am thankful that for my life, in this time in my life, I am a mother. Maybe I will get to have more kids, or not. Maybe my kids will be healthy, or maybe they will get sick. Maybe I will have the life I imagine, or maybe I won’t. But I can trust that for right now I am in the right place and I shouldn’t worry because it’s ultimately all in His timing.

So have a good Mother’s day and thank your mother, but know that really it’s about Jesus.

Z’s Burgers located at 8307 Mukilteo Speedway (425-290-3888) is a small and cute burger place with lots of inventive burgers with airplane inspired names. They also have other fast food staples like onion rings, french fries, and really good shakes. It’s fun for kids (and adults) too because the walls are covered in collectibles like M&Ms, Pepsi, Coke, airplanes, baseball, Seahawks, and other fun things to look at. There are big tables and high chairs too which make it great for large groups or those with little kids. There’s a little bar to sit at outside when it’s sunny. The staff are very friendly too! I often go running on the Speedway and pass Z’s Burgers…and it takes a lot of praying to Jesus to deliver me from the temptation of pausing my run and grabbing some onion rings for the road.

So if you’re heading to Whidbey and the ferry wait is too long and you’re hungry, or you’re looking for a fun place to take your kids, or just want to try something new, try Z’s Burgers. Maybe I’ll see you there…just don’t tell my husband because I’m probably supposed to be running.
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While you’re up in the Great White North (Mukilteo), there are other greats places to dine like Diamond Knot Brewery, Patty’s Egg Nest, and Kostas.

Melana’s post a few days ago regarding television has made me think. Not that I’m not already utterly sinful, but television and other media tend to add to the human propensity to discontentment. So much of the media portrays “normal” people doing heroic and extraordinary things. Heroes is all about normal people discovering their extraordinary abilities, American Idol gives normal people the chance to be extraordinary. A long list of game shows give people the opportunity to win a million dollars and break out of their normal, ordinary lives and do something amazing. Looking at the TV Guide, it appears that everyone is extraordinary, or should be. For me this only feeds my feeling of discontentment. It appears that everyone else is out there making history, making money, or discovering superpowers. I can’t regenerate like Claire on Heroes (and I don’t look like her either!), so what’s special about me?

Jesus was extraordinary, but he only spent about the last three years of his life showing it. The only person who actually could have done anything, spent most of his life looking like all the rest of us. How humble! It makes me wonder what’s so bad about being ordinary. Serving Jesus, your family, and your community probably won’t get you a TV show, but it will make you like Jesus and that’s not a bad thing. I should be content in where I am and who I am, because hopefully I’m becoming who Jesus wants me to be.

By Addie Gerlach

Kids are really cool and really do pick up on more than I might have thought. All of Caley’s little friends in playgroup and church continually amaze me. They have such a unique way to understanding the world and the kids in Shoreline and the greater Mars Hill have a lot to add to our church. Even the little babies are a joy because everything is new and exciting, all they want to do is learn and explore. The easiest way to see how cool these little image-bearers of Christ are is to work in children’s ministry. Get down on the floor and build a tower with blocks, or read a book about a little bear named Corduroy. Sing crazy songs about Father Abraham and see how great it is to praise Jesus while flailing your arms uninhibited by what the person next to you will think. Volunteers are badly needed at Shoreline kids ministry, both on Sundays and Wednesdays for Kids Kore. If you have a heart for the little folk, there is a place for you. The benefits far outweigh the cost when it comes to working with kids all in Jesus’ name.

Addie Gerlach

Some regular attenders of Mars Hill:Shoreline are experiencing this as I write. Carrie is about 28 weeks pregnant and will most likely stay on full bedrest at the hospital until her son Miles is born. This is Carrie and her husband David’s first child. The week of Thanksgiving Carrie (at about 25 weeks pregnant) was having some suspicious symptoms and went to get checked out. Much to her surprise she had been having contractions that were dilating her and beginning labor. She was placed on strict bedrest and has been in the hospital ever since. Since then things have been uneventful which is good. Each day that Miles stays in utero increases his chances for good health after he is born. Looking at this situation it’s easy to ask God “why,” and I’m sure David and Carrie have wondered this as well. The only answer can be because God is sovereign. This will bring God glory regardless of the outcome. It will cause people to turn closer to Him and for godly kindness to be shown.

But even if it didn’t do those things, God would still be sovereign. Even if Carrie had delivered Miles at 25 weeks God is still in control. Thankfully we know how it will ultimately end–with Christ’s victorious reign and the taking of His people to heaven! Meanwhile, please pray for Carrie, David, and little Miles’ health.

Ecclesiastes 7:14
When times are good, be happy;
but when times are bad, consider:
God has made the one
as well as the other.
Therefore, a man cannot discover
anything about his future.

-Addie Gerlach

Eventually we will get forgotten. So many generations will pass and someday I’ll be the great-great-great-great-grandmother who lived hundreds of years prior and just be a name on a genealogy. That can seem depressing, but it’s true as Solomon says, “Everything is meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 1:2).

Of course we all matter. Jesus knows and cares for each of us, He is active in our lives and the great author of our life. But it doesn’t matter what I do by what age or how that compares to those who came before me. As long as it’s glorifying to God, whatever it is that he has me do, that’s all that will matter.

Brain cramp. I just completely forgot I’m a mom.

It suddenly hit me that I’m not going to get to do a lot of stuff (especially spur-of-the-moment stuff) for quite a while. Dang, responsibility!
With this realization there can be two reactions and to a certain extent I had both. One: Get depressed because I won’t get to do “my thing” for the next 20 years and get frustrated that life will never again be normal. Two: Realize that there is a new normal for me, because my children aren’t leaving, and praise the Lord for it.

The world often tells us (especially women) that we need to put our life “on hold” to have children. Children are seen as an inconvenience to our finances, careers, bodies, etc. The world tells us that our lives should be more than just caring for children. Am I really that surprised that I momentarily forgot about my children when I got asked to sub? Jesus teaches that children are valuable and to be treasured, that we must become like them to know Him and enter the kingdom of God (Mark 10:13-16). He also teaches that He reveals Himself to little children (Matthew 11:25), so children are definitely a blessing.

I’m not saying that I will never sub or work again. But I need to realize that I have a new normal in my life that includes my children. The world wants to call them responsibilities, obligations, and inconveniences, but I think Jesus wants us to see them as blessings!

But in the process of telling our stories (or rather the story of Jesus’ work in our lives), I have learned so much about my sisters in Christ: how they came to know Christ, how they met their husbands, the way their parents have affected them for good and bad. But I’ve also learned of the many struggles they have dealt with, some more recent than others. Many of these women I have known for several years, and yet through hearing their stories I’ve realized how little I actually know them, what’s good and bad in their lives and how I can encourage or pray for them. I find it very sad and convicting that only through the formal process of telling our stories at community group do I really set aside time to get to know my friends, my family in Christ. I see these girls each week and ask, “How are you” without really caring what’s really going on in their lives. On the same token, when I’m asked the same question, I rarely answer honestly. This might be acceptable chit-chat with acquaintances at the grocery store, but not with other believers. I’m not saying we should unload on everyone who asks how we are doing, but more of an effort should be made to check in with people in order to pray for and support them when they may need it. This is something I’m working on, and when I write my story the next time hopefully I will have made progress in this area.

So, how are you? Me? It’s hard to type while juggling a crying baby.

Our family got a little bigger on August 6th when Amelia was born. She was two weeks early, and overall things have been really great. She’s an amazing blessing as are all children. Our older daughter Caley seems to genuinely love her, she likes to give her kisses and hugs, and they lay on the floor together and read books. Amelia is a typical newborn, thankfully not colicky, but her schedule is just different than mine.

I was awake last night at 2am nursing Amelia and it dawned on me that I was scheduled to write a blog today. Dang! I left it to the last minute! Hmmm, what is God teaching me right now…what can I thoughtfully reflect on for the good of Shoreline and Mars Hill. After being awake for an hour trying to get Amelia back to sleep, she finally gave in and we all got to sleep for a few hours. The night had made me a little crabby and this morning I was coming up with a pretty long list of things I could complain about. (The postpartum hormones weren’t making it any easier.) While I try to be peppy and optimistic most of the time, when things aren’t really going my way, I can throw myself a pretty good pity-party.

Okay, it’s been a few hours since I started writing this blog. After a big, strong cup of coffee (Thank you Jesus) and a shower (Double Thank You Jesus), I’m feeling a lot better and I can rationally reflect on what Jesus is teaching me. Maybe these feelings are all part of the sanctification process? In Genesis God says to Eve “”I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children” (Genesis 3:16), and in 1 Timothy Paul writes, “But women will be saved through childbearing-if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety” (1 Timothy 2:15). Before I had children I thought these passages only referred to the act of childbearing as in the birth and labor. But now, especially after nights like last night in which I have nothing to lean on except Jesus for maintaining my sanity, I understand it is the entire process of childbearing, raising, correcting, and providing for my children. I know this might not be a shocking revelation to all, especially at Shoreline in which the kids are quickly outnumbering the adults, but it’s a little lesson I’ve relearned since Amelia arrived. Hopefully I will continue to learn these lessons in faith, love and holiness.