by Pastor JD

Over the past few days the Mars Hill elders and their wives had our annual Elder’s Retreat. It was a little different than the previous one we attended. We brought in a speaker, Gary Thomas and his wife. He spoke to us about marriage, which was great. Just like our relationship with God, our relationship with our spouse can always improve. After 16 years of marriage I can still love my wife better, serve her better, and know her more deeply.

One point that Gary made struck me in a pretty profound way. Now I won’t do Gary justice in describing this so you will have to go get his books for yourself, but he talked about God as our father-in-law. We are familiar with the idea of God as our father, but how often do we think of God as our spouse’s father. How does it change the way you think if you know that God is going to ask you; “How have you loved my daughter?” God knows and sees everything. If you fear God you will treat his kids right.

This idea hit me in a little different way though. Andrea’s dad left when she was very young and had a limited role in her life growing up. For me he set very low standard so it didn’t take much effort on my part to appear like a great man in her life. I don’t ever consciously remember comparing myself to Andrea’s dad, but in hindsight I do see an arrogance and self-righteous attitude in my marriage. I had an idea that I was the best thing that ever happened to Andrea. Unfortunately I was looking at the wrong standard. When I look at God as Andrea’s father, I come up short. In fact “short” is a positive spin on my failure to love Andrea the way Jesus loves her.

While it is humbling to see my sin in how I approached my marriage, and a little scary to think that God, as my father-in-law, wants to have a 1-1 conversation on how I treated Andrea the last time she was sick (I’m thinking he’ll be a little like Tony Soprano to get me back in line). I am thankful that He provides me with the perfect example to follow, Jesus.

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” Ephesians 5:25 – 27