written by Marci Hadnot

I suffered much before I met Jesus. But I rarely resented it. That suffering was somehow good for my character was a philosophical conclusion with which I had come to terms long before I was saved. Although happiness had always been elusive, I was content with its pursuit…despite the suffering. Such was the resignation of my unregenerate heart.

I was 33 years old when Jesus introduced Himself to me, and His love and attention initiated a Honeymoon made in Heaven that salved my weary soul. One of the most potent fantasies that captured my imagination during this period of our relationship was that I had arrived. I was a Christian; a member of the normative element of mainstream society. I would have a husband, I would have children, and I would have a home that was a safe haven from the world’s pressures. My husband and children would surely stand up and call me blessed, and my works would praise me in the gates (Proverbs 31:28, 31). And I would be happy.

Alas, such fantasies are the pipedreams of the nominal Christian, and because Jesus loves me, He had to eventually burst my bubble. I would have this… I would have that… “I would have…” Three little words at the root of all transgressions against the 10^th commandment: “Thou shalt not covet…” As Pastor Mark put it a few weeks ago: Christians are the only people who don’t get what they want. So much for the pursuit of happiness.

Perhaps the modern definition of “the pursuit of happiness” might be more properly rendered “the pursuit of comfort.” Real Christians suffer much, and real Christians cannot afford to indulge in the blessings of comfort beyond what their Good and Gracious God deems appropriate. Not a popular maxim. If it is true that there is nothing new under the sun, it is equally true that nothing under the sun stays the same. And God often contrives change in our lives to our discomfort. Because He loves us. As Pastor Steve noted last Sunday, such discomfort reveals the true state of our hearts and gives us opportunities to grow in grace, to be pruned by our Beloved Vinedresser. But our modern culture equates the suffering that results to evil, and the comfort of the status quo to good. (See Isaiah 5:20) Some of us were shocked by our pastor’s blatant disregard for popular wisdom, some of us resented it, and some of us thought, “Yeah. Ok. I get it. The pursuit of happiness is really the pursuit of Jesus.” You know into which category you fit.

I have suffered much in my Christian walk, and never more than in the past year. But just recently, God has blessed me with a season of rest in which my suffering is of the mundane and simply uncomfortable variety: no screens on the windows, wasps in the venting, a yardful of unmowed weeds, a houseful of chaotic clutter, one daughter with a driver’s permit who nags me for time in the car, another daughter who faints, literally, at the sight of blood. What a blessing to be plagued by such easy “trials” compared to the season of real suffering that has just passed. And in this season of relative rest, I thank God every day for the common mercies of Providence: a roof over our heads, a job that helps me keep it there, toothpaste, indoor plumbing, a washing machine and microwave…the list is very, very long. Pray with me, brothers and sisters, that I take advantage of this season of respite in real suffering to be built up in faith, that I may prove myself competent, equipped for the good work (2 Timothy 3:17) of submission to the Vinedresser’s next round of pruning. And I will pray for you.