I’m not in the best mood right now.

Our family got a little bigger on August 6th when Amelia was born. She was two weeks early, and overall things have been really great. She’s an amazing blessing as are all children. Our older daughter Caley seems to genuinely love her, she likes to give her kisses and hugs, and they lay on the floor together and read books. Amelia is a typical newborn, thankfully not colicky, but her schedule is just different than mine.

I was awake last night at 2am nursing Amelia and it dawned on me that I was scheduled to write a blog today. Dang! I left it to the last minute! Hmmm, what is God teaching me right now…what can I thoughtfully reflect on for the good of Shoreline and Mars Hill. After being awake for an hour trying to get Amelia back to sleep, she finally gave in and we all got to sleep for a few hours. The night had made me a little crabby and this morning I was coming up with a pretty long list of things I could complain about. (The postpartum hormones weren’t making it any easier.) While I try to be peppy and optimistic most of the time, when things aren’t really going my way, I can throw myself a pretty good pity-party.

Okay, it’s been a few hours since I started writing this blog. After a big, strong cup of coffee (Thank you Jesus) and a shower (Double Thank You Jesus), I’m feeling a lot better and I can rationally reflect on what Jesus is teaching me. Maybe these feelings are all part of the sanctification process? In Genesis God says to Eve “”I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children” (Genesis 3:16), and in 1 Timothy Paul writes, “But women will be saved through childbearing-if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety” (1 Timothy 2:15). Before I had children I thought these passages only referred to the act of childbearing as in the birth and labor. But now, especially after nights like last night in which I have nothing to lean on except Jesus for maintaining my sanity, I understand it is the entire process of childbearing, raising, correcting, and providing for my children. I know this might not be a shocking revelation to all, especially at Shoreline in which the kids are quickly outnumbering the adults, but it’s a little lesson I’ve relearned since Amelia arrived. Hopefully I will continue to learn these lessons in faith, love and holiness.